I’m starting to think of things with gender as though there are different axis (gosh is that the plural? or is it axes? chop chop). I have no idea what they should be but I think there’s identity (how do you relate to yourself on a mental/psychological level? what identity resonates for you?), there’s body (which is your genital/anatomical configuration, brain and chemistry), and there’s social (your behavior, your role, interpersonal–how you relate to others and how others relate to you). There’s gender expression which I think is social? (Things like how do you dress, hair, etc.) I think it’s worth noting that there’s a desire and inhibitor element to this too like there’s the desire to behave a certain way but there’s this inhibitor that causes you to not behave a certain way. I think there’s a level of peace that can be obtained when these things become aligned and are resonating with you and your identity.
I think I would suggest that the resonance is critical in uncovering your identity preferences.
I think I do suggest caution. There can be damages done to perception of your anatomical A_AB (AFAB=Assigned Female At Brith, AMAB=Assigned Male At Birth) sex and the roles you see members of the gender. Another can be things that you are continually hurt over because you are a member of a gender. These things can hinder ones ability to enjoy the sex they were born into. For example men are not offered compliments and appearances and level of attraction (or in this case lack thereof) can result in chronic social pain. Another example is the amount of attention women receive that may be undesirable, the vulnerability women find just being, and socioeconomic problems of a given identity with regards to things like wages and general unfair treatment. Alternatively they could have had or witnessed some sort of trauma inducing experience with a member of a given gender that taints their view of their assignment at birth.
Some complications that arise for people questioning their gender include things like family, close-knit social connections, religion, and personality. If someone naturally resists change she or he may be less likely to pursue such a change. If someone that is soft considers transition they may not be up for the ridicule from others–whether it is random strangers who suddenly hate them just for living–or friends who cut them out of their lives for accepting their inner-truth. Nevermind the complications of the steps during transition itself–such as finding out about medical conditions that make them high risk to undergo hormone replacement therapy or gender confirmation procedures. The complexity of navigating a new gender–new language with different word choices–vocal differences (inflection patterns and pitch/vocal resonance), roles, etc. Just like with learning new languages the predominant school of thought is full-immersion which means WPATH recommends being the desired gender full time.