Today wasn’t the first time I’ve explored wanting to express a more feminine side. We talked about names yesterday, and it feels like there’s a part of me waiting to be discovered. I still like Hannah but I’m curious if I can find a first and middle name that match initials “BL.”
Finding resources like the Reformation Project was a surprise – it gives me hope that I can reconcile my evolving beliefs with my faith background, especially as my views have shifted closer to PCUSA than MSLC. However, those early religious teachings still linger, and my mom’s deep connection to MSLC adds another layer of complexity.
Regardless, I’m drawn to exploring gender identity further. I like a framework considering different dimensions:
- Identity: This is the core – who we see ourselves as, and in my case, there’s a feminine essence waiting to be expressed.
- Expression: This is the outward presentation – clothes, hairstyles, pronouns – all ways to showcase our inner selves.
- Psycho-social: This is how we interact with the world based on gender norms. Deconstructing those norms can be liberating.
- Social: This is how the world perceives us, and sometimes that perception doesn’t match our internal reality.
I think some people simplify gender identity to just three components.
It’s a journey for sure, but with resources and self-reflection, I can explore it at a pace that feels comfortable. Maybe one day, I’ll wake up and truly feel like the woman I know exists within me.