I’m sad today. I’ve been sad lately. Chronically sad. Depressed. But feeling the sadness again.
I know I’ve been worrying about death. What if there’s nothing after? Then it’s tragic because I’ll forget myself. Is that as sad to other people as it is to me? Maybe not because of faith. Eternity is equally scary. But I feel like either way you have to come to terms with the idea of eternity. I can’t seem to do it. Panic attack.
Death could be empty. Kind of like how our turn ends in a game. It could be sleep until resurrection. It could be heaven or hell. It could be an amusement park of religious beliefs. It could be a place of our own making.
You die alone. You could die while someone else is. But your death is your own.
Time sometimes feels like free falling. You keep falling. You don’t know when you’ll hit. It’s best not to think about. You don’t talk about it. Usually. It’s dark. No one wants to be in that room. The basement of every house more or less. My sorrow for everyone. How do we cope? We have no choice. But if we did would you be born knowing the implications of going through that door one day not knowing if there’s a you on the other side? I guess so. But it’s so scary.