This story is one that is not my own. I also do not know the person in any capacity other than that of which they posted online (reddit/quora). So yes this is an anecdote. The reason I’m posting this is to have people reconsider gender identity–how it forms–how activities have little to do with identity.
So I think we’ve come to know people and things maybe more by a duck type system. If it sounds like a duck, acts like a duck, etc, then it must be a duck.
So the story goes there was a boy who was raised as a girl until he was 11 years old. His mom raised him as a girl and I believe she told everyone in his life that he was a girl. Before you start with how awful it is that someone would do that (and by all means it is). He didn’t know any better. While he was getting older he still assumed he was a girl despite any differences. Assumed that his mismatched genitalia would just fall off as he got older. There was a disconnect from his age to adult. He wasn’t sure how to make sense of it.
He enjoyed playing dolls, and partaking of the feminine activities that he was directed towards. He was taking part of female roles and knew of himself in that way.
He had an incident where he spilled something on himself and needed a change of clothes. He went to an all girls school. He ended up getting kicked out, lost his mom, was then raised by someone else. The anecdote mentions that he went to therapy and that he was able to establish a proper relationship with his gender identity despite being raised differently.
What is the significance for those who are transgender? We are all this boy. The difference is that our sex (physical manifestation) contradicts our gender (mental manifestation). The spill reveals our false gender rather than our true selves.
I suppose some of us don’t really have a definitive sex (intersex) where even our sex has contradictions. (I think intersex are included in the transgender “umbrella”.) People go through life believing they are male or female and then have genetic testing (or have trouble conceiving or other issues) the results contradict how their sex manifested. Typically this has no impact on gender identity. But there are scenarios that seem to defy expectations. There are other conditions too of course but I won’t be covering them here.
I think we need to take care of others and have sympathy for their inner world as we traverse already difficult terrain called life. So sure you can raise your concerns and lovingly interact. At the end of the day it’s another life.
Just like anything else, transgender people are at the mercy of others to decide how they should live. Who gets to decide if they can or cannot transition?