Category: Uncategorized

I’m sad

I’m sad today. I’ve been sad lately. Chronically sad. Depressed. But feeling the sadness again. I know I’ve been worrying about death. What if there’s nothing after? Then it’s tragic because I’ll forget myself. Is that as sad to other people as it is to me? Maybe not because of faith. Eternity is equally scary.… Continue reading I’m sad

Dear Friends

I miss you I really do. Many of you. Some of you. There’s one that comes to mind right now. For a while I feel like she was the cornerstone of my life and that we were on the same wavelength and I was ok with myself. She was one of the few friends who… Continue reading Dear Friends

An Old Post

December 14, 2011 from flesh to dustfrom life to deathfrom physical to spiritualfrom death to lifefrom hatred to lovefrom pain to blissfrom heart break to unionfrom confusion to conclusionfrom start to finishfrom finite to infinitefrom temporary to permanentfrom prototype to finalfrom clay to potfrom death to lifefrom self to multitudefrom emptiness to overflowingfrom choice to… Continue reading An Old Post

I know it’s stupid

I know it’s stupid. I wake up, wish I had been born a woman.Is it really that stupid? I don’t know I think about it from the outside–someone who doesn’t acknowledge transgender people–their words becoming the voice in my head “he thinks he’s a woman” how ridiculous. Or I think about my wife talking to… Continue reading I know it’s stupid

Happy Pi Day!

Hello everyone! Happy Pi day! I’m definitely having a relaxing day of work. Well maybe not stress-less I can say it is much less stressful than I anticipated. I’ve been doing some reflecting on a project I was involved with last year. Studying some of the code and how it has evolved over the past… Continue reading Happy Pi Day!

Final Fantasy XI

Welcome this is that post you probably didn’t expect to see. I just wanted to mention that I miss FFXI. I give a lot of time thinking about how much I miss the days of yesteryear and how much I want to go back. I know it’s an empty world (for me) and the people… Continue reading Final Fantasy XI

LGBT&church

Maybe this isn’t the place to get an honest reaction. I just want to kind of vent. My wife is a pastor. I’m not sure if I mentioned that. I’d be surprised if it hadn’t come up yet but allow me to rehash that she’s a pastor. She’s been involved with hiring someone and she’s… Continue reading LGBT&church

Gender Hypotheticals (With responses)

Gender Hypotheticals, I found this on a discord I recently joined and plan to go through and give my responses. We typically approach gender (how we feel and relate) and sex (what genitals and/or chromosomes we have) as if they are fixed and unchangeable. Culturally, we are taught to assume our gender based on our… Continue reading Gender Hypotheticals (With responses)

Waking up a Woman

I often find myself just waking up as a woman. Like ok I know I am one already but as though I was born a woman assigned female at birth, you know what I’m getting at here. I want to wake up and already be there. I don’t want to have to explain anything. I… Continue reading Waking up a Woman