What would integrating all aspects of your identity more fully look like?
I think the biggest thing for me right now is how much I’d like to be called Hannah and use she/her pronouns. I would love it if people recognized me as a woman. I don’t know that there’s anything in particular I want to do. I’d like to do some work on my voice and femininize my voice. I think this would make me feel more comfortable on Twitch with streaming with my mic. And probably more comfortable in person since it is a major dimension of identification.
I think the other factor is face in particular eyebrows. So I’d like to learn more about eyebrow maintenance and get them done to see what shape I would like. I’d also want a lesson on make up.
Yeah I guess every once in a while going out presenting feminine would be great too but wearing all women’s clothing even if it isn’t obvious seems to work wonders.
I’d love it if my mom would eventually come around and accept me and my transition. I’m attempting to do this with logic but I know that will fail. I’m not sure how much of her reaction is emotional and how much will just take time to get used to. To be fair her religion believes I’ll go to hell. Oddly enough I feel like I’m supposed to do something there like my calling is in that area of faith for the LGBTQ+ community.
I’d love to be able to communicate more freely with Annie without fear of causing her inner turmoil.
These goals probably aren’t the most healthy since it involves me projecting how other people would react to me. I might need to revisit this and see if there’s an integration method where nothing requires external validation.