Trans Life – Hannah Pi

AI chat Journal Notes

Today wasn’t the first time I’ve explored wanting to express a more feminine side. We talked about names yesterday, and it feels like there’s a part of me waiting to be discovered. I still like Hannah but I’m curious if I can find a first and middle name that match initials “BL.” Finding resources like… Continue reading AI chat Journal Notes

Decision Avoidance

Today I feel a bit awful. I wish I could just wake up a woman. I’m not sure I care how it is done just that it’s done. Like I wake up and I have to deal with it. I wish it were clearly something that happened to me rather than something I chose. Why?… Continue reading Decision Avoidance

Hair cut

So I recently got a haircut. My hair is now short. It’s definitely more functional. The long hair was enjoyable. I wish people were ok that I had a woman’s hair cut. I didn’t get too many comments against it but I did get some rather odd looks from people. I can tell some people… Continue reading Hair cut

Struggle

I’ve struggled with my identity for a long time. The most intense struggle happened when I was 13-16. Then I struggled to find love. I don’t know that I really established a strong sense of self. There are traits about me that I do like. Anyway I think maybe I just jumped into finding love… Continue reading Struggle

Make sure I don’t look like a Girl

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feelings of gender dysphoria. In suppressing feminine expression I feel like I have separated me from myself. I think that’s probably an odd thing to say seeing it written out here. I feel like most of my life I’ve spent separated from myself–continually denying myself of a solid… Continue reading Make sure I don’t look like a Girl

“I’m a girl!”

I had an odd dream and there’s a lot about it that I don’t really remember but there was a segment that sticks out. I was at home at mom’s and I was pretty young in the dream maybe 10 or 11 and my friends were there. No one that I recognized specifically. I was… Continue reading “I’m a girl!”

Why are Republicans in the US banning or making it harder to receive care for trans people?

First of all, to the conservative Republican, transgender people don’t really exist. They just consider us as people who are simply confused about their gender and/or are hiding other problems behind “transgenderism.” Secondly putting together any sort of anti LGBTQ+ agenda could be a golden ticket to the top. Republicans are really energized right now… Continue reading Why are Republicans in the US banning or making it harder to receive care for trans people?

War against Self

Content Warning: Transphobic post. There’s a war raging on in me. A war against my self. I don’t know which part of “self” is more authentic. Is it the one that I find during introspection–the one that emerges when doing soul seeking? The one that has always put herself last and is sick of it?… Continue reading War against Self

Gender

I’m starting to think of things with gender as though there are different axis (gosh is that the plural? or is it axes? chop chop). I have no idea what they should be but I think there’s identity (how do you relate to yourself on a mental/psychological level? what identity resonates for you?), there’s body… Continue reading Gender

Hello Hannah

So yesterday I played GTA Online with a bunch of my brother’s friends (one of my friends was there as well but pretty sure the distinction isn’t really necessary). One of his friends called me by my dead name and then followed up with “I’m sorry” then from there on out corrected and called me… Continue reading Hello Hannah