Trans Life – Hannah Pi

Prompt about Identity

What would integrating all aspects of your identity more fully look like? I think the biggest thing for me right now is how much I’d like to be called Hannah and use she/her pronouns. I would love it if people recognized me as a woman. I don’t know that there’s anything in particular I want… Continue reading Prompt about Identity

A Difficult Split

Hi everyone. This is something that weighs heavy in my heart. I find myself weighing different religious views (under the Christian umbrella) and I’m just uncertain where I land. I grew up in the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. I believe my views have changed since then. I have trouble not looking back and just moving… Continue reading A Difficult Split

It’s been a while

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted and a lot of things have happened. I don’t know that my situation has changed a whole lot. In some ways I’m back to square one and in others I’m making progress. I’ve been going to therapy and working with a therapist. I’ve struggled through various stages.… Continue reading It’s been a while

Email to mom (4/17) transition

Hey mom, I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared enough to sway your opinion on this. And maybe that shouldn’t be my goal anyway. I already feel defeated because I don’t see any scenario where we arrive at a productive end. But this isn’t chess. This is a relationship. And I know you’re concerned about… Continue reading Email to mom (4/17) transition

AI chat Journal Notes

Today wasn’t the first time I’ve explored wanting to express a more feminine side. We talked about names yesterday, and it feels like there’s a part of me waiting to be discovered. I still like Hannah but I’m curious if I can find a first and middle name that match initials “BL.” Finding resources like… Continue reading AI chat Journal Notes

Decision Avoidance

Today I feel a bit awful. I wish I could just wake up a woman. I’m not sure I care how it is done just that it’s done. Like I wake up and I have to deal with it. I wish it were clearly something that happened to me rather than something I chose. Why?… Continue reading Decision Avoidance

Hair cut

So I recently got a haircut. My hair is now short. It’s definitely more functional. The long hair was enjoyable. I wish people were ok that I had a woman’s hair cut. I didn’t get too many comments against it but I did get some rather odd looks from people. I can tell some people… Continue reading Hair cut

Struggle

I’ve struggled with my identity for a long time. The most intense struggle happened when I was 13-16. Then I struggled to find love. I don’t know that I really established a strong sense of self. There are traits about me that I do like. Anyway I think maybe I just jumped into finding love… Continue reading Struggle

Make sure I don’t look like a Girl

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feelings of gender dysphoria. In suppressing feminine expression I feel like I have separated me from myself. I think that’s probably an odd thing to say seeing it written out here. I feel like most of my life I’ve spent separated from myself–continually denying myself of a solid… Continue reading Make sure I don’t look like a Girl

“I’m a girl!”

I had an odd dream and there’s a lot about it that I don’t really remember but there was a segment that sticks out. I was at home at mom’s and I was pretty young in the dream maybe 10 or 11 and my friends were there. No one that I recognized specifically. I was… Continue reading “I’m a girl!”