Category: Transgender Questioning

Hair cut

So I recently got a haircut. My hair is now short. It’s definitely more functional. The long hair was enjoyable. I wish people were ok that I had a woman’s hair cut. I didn’t get too many comments against it but I did get some rather odd looks from people. I can tell some people… Continue reading Hair cut

Make sure I don’t look like a Girl

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feelings of gender dysphoria. In suppressing feminine expression I feel like I have separated me from myself. I think that’s probably an odd thing to say seeing it written out here. I feel like most of my life I’ve spent separated from myself–continually denying myself of a solid… Continue reading Make sure I don’t look like a Girl

War against Self

Content Warning: Transphobic post. There’s a war raging on in me. A war against my self. I don’t know which part of “self” is more authentic. Is it the one that I find during introspection–the one that emerges when doing soul seeking? The one that has always put herself last and is sick of it?… Continue reading War against Self

Gender

I’m starting to think of things with gender as though there are different axis (gosh is that the plural? or is it axes? chop chop). I have no idea what they should be but I think there’s identity (how do you relate to yourself on a mental/psychological level? what identity resonates for you?), there’s body… Continue reading Gender

Does everything have a problem?

I wish I would write more when things are good. Today I have no energy and don’t want to write at all. I’m not even sure what to write. I’m just deflated and want to go back to bed. Normal life I guess. Emotions: Overwhelmed, Stressed, Ashamed, Guilty, Remorseful, Depressed, Discouraged, Deflated, Hurt, Lonely, Excluded,… Continue reading Does everything have a problem?

Rehash

I don’t want to transition as a means to solve a problem. I want to transition as a means to connect to myself. I don’t want to transition because the grass is greener on the other side. I’m thinking the grass is probably frozen. I think I would rather be able to dance in the… Continue reading Rehash